It was the last gameweek of the Premier League season and I just wanted it to be over. My opponent was Darren T and he was one of the people that were somehow below me in the head-to-head table. Ironically, Darren had more classic points then me, again showing that there is major luck needed in the order of your opponent's when it comes to a head-to-head league.
If I won, I could end in 10th place, if lost I could fall to as low as 14th. This campaign had been a dismal one for me. I had been used to finishing in the the top 270,000 in the world to only be languishing in the top £2.6m in the world before this gameweek. Starting the season without Erling Haaland and Kieran Trippier hurt me severely. On top of that, as any previous readers over the years will know, I do not pick players from teams I dislike with a passion in Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester United, so with the great seasons the likes of Martin Odegaard, Bukayo Saka, Gabriel Martinelli and Marcus Rashford have had I was always playing catchup. With Chelsea finishing so low this season, could I be swayed to be lenient and start picking men from the Blues as they will be cheaper? Hmm...we will have to see in August.
Right, so let's get to it. With it being the last day, all teams of course kicked off at the same time which was 4.30pm on Sunday. With it being a busy weekend for me the later gameweek start did not benefit me as much as I would have liked. With me not really having anything to lose I took an 8-point hit and tried to get players in who I knew would start as relegation had not been decided yet. I sold Kaoru Mitoma and Cody Gakpo for Dwight McNeil and James Maddison in midfield who were both trying to keep their teams in the division. I went for a bit of final day romanticism and got in Roberto Firmino up front for Haaland as I had freed up a space for another Liverpool player by selling Gakpo and I did not believe Haaland would be risked before the FA Cup Final. I was originally going to sell Haaland for Kane, but then changed my mind as I let the lure of points from a Liverpool legend get the better of me. With Darren being second from bottom, I am not sure how much he cared about the last day, and he made no transfers. Mo Salah was my captain whilst Haaland was his.
Arsenal crushed Wolves 5-0 in Granit Xhaka's send off as he scored twice. Hugo Bueno came off my bench as Jurgen Klopp had already stated that Andy Robertson had a knock so I knew he would not start for Liverpool. Despite only playing a half with Wolves letting in three goals he returned me absolutely nish! Aston Villa confirmed Europa Conference League football next season with a 2-1 home win over Brighton who had already qualified for the Europa League. Both Villa's goals came in the first half, and they were both assisted by Jacob Ramsey. I had thought Ramsey would do well but that would have taken an even greater hit to get him in, but coming to think of it I had nothing to lose as I have already said and maybe I could have just had a pop at almost changing my whole team and seeing what happened, but hindsight is a beautiful thing. Darren had Alexis Mac Allister who looked to be starting his last game for the Seagulls and Mitoma, but the Japanese international was only a substitute. Pervis Estupinan only played one half so only returned a single point.
Brentford missed out on Europe despite beating a much-changed Manchester City team 1-0 thanks to a late Ethan Pinnock goal. Darren benefitted well here as he had David Raya and Ben Mee. Keeping Riyad Mahrez did nothing for me even though he started but John Stones was rested so no points there either. Haaland did not feature at all which meant that Kane who was Darren's vice-captain was now his captain. Chelsea and Newcastle drew 1-1 at Stamford Bridge. Alexander Isak was chosen to start ahead of Callum Wilson, and Darren and I both had the England international. Bruno Guimaraes was also in Darren's team as well as Trippier who scored an own goal. I was hoping for some final day fireworks from Eberechi Eze but his late effort was denied as Crystal Palace drew 1-1 at home with Nottingham Forest. Morgan Gibbs-White who I spoke about last week created another goal for Taiwo Awoniyi whilst Michael Olise assisted once again since I have sold him. All these players will be under heavy consideration for my team next campaign.
Everton had to win to stay in the Premier League and they did so with a narrow 1-0 triumph over Bournemouth. The only goal came from a good strike by Abdoulaye Doucoure as I was again too late to the party with a form player as McNeil blanked. I was to rue not getting Kane in because of letting my sentimental value get in the way and he bagged a brace as Tottenham won 4-1 away at Leeds. This meant Sam Allardyce's men were relegated. Kane added to his well taken double with an assist to Pedro Porro, not only did Darren destroy me with Kane he also had Porro. Porro was 'pooro' when I had him but he has done well since and I should have brought him back. With Haaland's absence the Kane haul meant the head-to-head was literally dead as a contest. Leicester won 2-1 at home against West Ham however with the Everton result they were also relegated to the Championship. Harvey Barnes, who I could have easily picked instead of Maddison put the Foxes ahead with his 13th league goal of the season, I do not recall his ownership ever being above 2% so many of us missed out there.
The last match to affect the head-to-head was relegated Southampton at home to my Liverpool. The Reds raced into a two-goal lead as Diogo Jota capitalised on a mistake to put them ahead. Shortly after it was two as Firmino capped his last appearance with a lovely run and finish leaving defenders on their backside in the process, you would have thought there was a 'wet floor' at St Mary's. Liverpool fans already knew they were not playing Champions League football next season; so thought they could not be embarrassed anymore but they were wrong. The bottom club fired back with no less than four goals to give their fans some scant consolation. Ghanaian Kamaldeen Sulemana scored was at the double amongst the four, the second was a great solo goal. Jurgen Klopp's men showed some pride and fight which they have only done sporadically this season and pulled it back to 4-4. Gakpo showed there was no need for me to sell him as he came off the bench to score and just a minute later Jota equalised. Jota showed I should have gone with my instincts rather than sentiment as I had a feeling he would be more productive than Firmino was subbed in the 57th minute. But I wanted to pick Firmino as it was the last chance that I had to, Darren had beaten me so badly regardless so it made no difference.
It finished amazingly 65-21, with Kane as his captain he outscored my team by himself...'eww'. Add that to the fact Emerson only played 19 minutes in West Ham's defeat at Leicester and with blanks from Estupinan and Bueno, my defence showed as much resistance as Barbie when Ken is running towards her. I am glad this diabolical season is finally over with; it has been slow torture. Anyway, congratulations to Khurram (K) who after repeatedly coming second is the 2022/23 'Justice League' champion with 85 points. Khurram also topped my classic league, 'League of Gentleman', with 2,557 points, so this was somewhat of a well-deserved double despite there being no cash prize in the classic league. The other prize winners are Emmanuel (E-Man) who came second with 77 points, Ash who came third with 76 points and Jacques who came fourth with 67 points. Josh was also within the prizes as he got the highest score with a whopping 148 in gameweek 29 when he used his bench boost and captained Marcus Rashford. So that is it for this season guys, a big thank you to anyone who has the read the Fantasy football Files, see you in August and enjoy your summer.
@DubulDee
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