Muji, the biggest windup merchant in the FPL group chat was my opponent this week. As he has a couple of victories over me since we started the 'Justice League', he constantly goads me knowing he will get a reaction. Chad (Goliath) is easily the biggest trash-talker in the head-to-head league but he was not in the group chat, so Muji was undisputed in that case. If he was trying to mess with my head then he was successful, as I had saved my 'Bench Boost' bonus chip just for him as I sought revenge. It was the last chip I had left but as there was a double gameweek for a couple of clubs, I thought I will use it despite the fact I only chose to take a -4 hit. I wanted to get the points for the players who only had one game, as sometimes they ironically outscore the players who have two matches.
I pondered taking a -8 hit but after talking with the likes of Darren (D-Man), Khurram (K) and Rian (Milito), but I went against bringing Jamie Vardy back into my side and stuck with Harry Kane although Kane had just the one game against Leeds, but I believed he could get on the scoresheet. I resisted getting Heung-min Son back and stuck with Gylfi Sigurdsson as Everton had two games.With this aspect I also thought of bringing in the Toffees' Dominic Calvert-Lewin but as I transferred in Lucas Digne for Pascal Struijk at the back, I did not want to have three Everton men. My other change was to sell Raphinha who was just coming back from injury so I did not expect him to start. In for him came Wilfried Zaha as Crystal Palace Sheffield United and Southampton to play. When the deadline passed, I was astounded to see that Muji had made a plethora of changes resulting in a -16 hit! So I was already 12 points ahead and I had activated my bench boost, this week should be straightforward shouldn't it?!...
The action began on Friday night at the King Power Stadium and there was a shock. Many had overloaded on Leicester players only for them to be beaten 4-2 at home by Newcastle. It was 4-0 at a stage but then the Foxes pulled one back before Kelechi Iheanacho scored to give me some points, the Nigerian was also booked however. I originally intended to make him captain this week, but I changed to Mo Salah when Liverpool's game with Manchester United was rearranged for this week.
As I travelled back from doing Saturday's #FootyOnTop show, Leeds played Spurs. Stuart Dallas gave Leeds the lead and I had told anyone who asked me to bench him for any defender they had playing two games, they probably all want to kill me for that now. Son equalised so I would have been justified bringing him back, before Kane had a goal disallowed for an extremely tight offside call. Leeds went on to win 3-1 and the third goal which was scored by Rodrigo was assisted by substitute Raphinha, so there was no need to sell him was there, 'for goodness sake!'. Marcelo Bielsa's men have some nice fixtures to conclude the season so it is more than likely I will be bringing him back. Crystal Palace were next up as they travelled to Bramall Lane to face Sheffield United. The game ended up being the 'Eberechi Eze Show' as he assisted the first for Christian Benteke, and then went on a mazy solo run to score a deflected second. Nothing from Zaha but at least the clean sheet meant points for Tyrick Mitchell. Eze at £5.8m is someone I should have looked at, he is £1.4m cheaper than Zaha and he takes set pieces, I should have been more shrewd. Neither of us had anyone playing in Chelsea's 2-1 away win over Manchester City, so next to Anfield. Liverpool made hard work of Southampton as they won 2-0 with Alisson being the man of the match. My captain Mo Salah assisted the opener for Sadio Mane and Thiago got the second goal very late on. I needed more from my captain however as Muji had him too. Diogo Jota had a chance in the first half but was denied by Fraser Forster. I ended Saturday a whopping 35-0 ahead but only three of my opponent's team had played.
Sunday began with Wolves at home to Brighton. Two of the men I had on my bench featured here in Robert Sanchez and Lewis Dunk so if the Seagulls conceded then I was in big trouble. Everything looked rosy as Dunk scored a towering header to give Brighton the lead and then he almost scored again from another corner. Things were to turn sour in the second half however. Just 8 minutes in and Brighton's backline was caught very high up the pitch and Dunk held back Fabio Silva and was rightfully sent off, 'FFS!'. Wolves came back to win 2-1 with a last minute goal for the winner and Sanchez also got himself booked, I was livid at the turn of events. I sought after some luck in the second game of the day as Aston Villa hosted Manchester United. Villa took the lead through a great goal by Bertrand Traore to only then be beaten 3-1. This obviously meant no clean sheet for Emiliano Martinez and Ollie Watkins not only blanked but then got sent off for a dive that Tom Daley would have frowned at, 'Ollie you wally!'. So with the fact Sergio Reguilon got booked for Spurs at Leeds now 3 of my 4 bench players had been cautioned or sent off, Sunday was turning into a damaged limitations exercise. Muji ate well in this game as Bruno Fernandes (his captain) and Mason Greenwood were both on the scoresheet, the gap was closing and fast. West Ham and Everton were next and I needed my differential Sigurdsson to produce but again he did not despite Everton getting a 1-0 win. There were more points for Muji as Calvert-Lewin grabbed the winner. To continue this horrible Sunday Jesse Lingard got booked to complete the set of all my bench being carded, this was just getting pathetic now! Neither of us had any players in Arsenal's win over West Brom, so my lead had basically disappeared as I ended Sunday only 3 points ahead, a 32-point swing just like that, I felt sick. My 7 players involved on Sunday only contributed 15 points, 'bloody ridiculous!'.
Monday saw Fulham who needed a win to delay relegation play Burnley. Muji had Chris Wood up top and Nick Pope in goal, so I was hoping Scott Parker's men did me a favour. In true FPL fashion though Wood scored and Pope kept a clean sheet. I was now behind by 10 points, literally nothing was going my way, I could not believe what was going on. First up on Tuesday was Manchester United's second fixture of the week as they faced Leicester. As expected the Red Devils rested numerous players because of the close proximity of their games. The Foxes were to win 2-1, and again this game was more fruitful for Muji than it was for me. Greenwood started and scored the equaliser and Iheanacho was booked. Yes another player of mine was booked that made it 6 men carded for me. When I informed Muji he was clear in the lead he did not even know as he thought he had no chance with the points hit he had taken. Tuesday concluded with Crystal Palace's trip to Southampton and the Eagles took the lead before being well beaten 3-1. No clean sheet points for Mitchell then and Zaha blanked and well yeah...got booked! 'Thanks Wilf!' I mean if you do not laugh then you will cry, the carded men tally now stood at 7. Zaha could have got a 'fantasy' assist as he won a penalty but Luka Milivojevic's spot-kick was saved by Fraser Forster. You just knew it would happen, Forster at 6'7" basically takes up the whole goal, Milivojevic should have just handed him the ball and spared his blushes. Was anything going to go in my favour?
None of our players participated in Arsenal's 1-0 win at Chelsea, so to Thursday we go. Aston Villa and Everton met again after only playing each other on May the 1st. With Watkins suspended and Muji also having Lucas Digne, I was therefore conflicted. I had Villa's Martinez in goal as a differential but my other differential was Sigurdsson. So it was better for a Sigurdsson goal than a Martinez clean sheet as Muji had Matt Targett, so unless Martinez made an outrageous amount of saves the clean sheet would be countered anyway. Sigurdsson again did nothing but oh yeah...get booked! So make that 8 players! He was taken off for Andre Gomes and he can have no complaints as the game ended goalless. Martinez did well to deny Calvert-Lewin form widening the deficit and deservedly got all three bonus points but I had needed so much more in this one.
The long gameweek ended with a contest that does not mean as much as it once did to the league, but in regards to pride it still meant everything as Manchester United and Liverpool locked horns at Old Trafford. Remember this game should have already taken place but United fans had other ideas. I needed Andy Robertson to outscore Trent Alexander-Arnold and for my arch nemesis Fernandes to blank as Greenwood was on the bench. So you fully well know it was Fernandes who put United in front, 'sigh'. Nat Phillips' positioning was all wrong as he deflected the ball in and the dubious goals committee deemed the shot was on target. Phillips was to redeem himself nonetheless as his good work saw Jota then produce a deft finish for 1-1. Phillips had also earlier won a penalty that was then overturned, Anthony Taylor is from Manchester so no need for me to break down what was being said about him on social media. Liverpool then went 3-1 ahead thanks to two goals form Roberto Firmino, both assisted by Alexander-Arnold. The first was a real assist from a free-kick, the second a 'fantasy' one as Dean Henderson made a hash of his shot and Firmino put the rebound in. Jota should have got me more points but he hit post after a quick Liverpool move. United pulled it back to 3-2, before in injury time Curtis Jones played in Salah who raced away to ice the game with what ended up being a straightforward goal. Henderson literally gave him the whole goal to shoot into as he had a forgettable day at the office. My captain Salah's late goal was nowhere near enough however as I faced the utter embarrassment of being beaten 121-96 by a man who took a 16-point hit and I used my damn bench boost! I felt physically sick while writing this as you can imagine. I am changing my name by dipole to 'Dan Vennegoor of Hesselink' and you will be lucky if you ever hear from me again! F-ck FPL, f-ck Muji, f-ck everything and if you don't feel any ounce of sorrow for me then I hope you miss the next deadline.
Fin.
@DubulDee
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